This funny Christmas wishes for your lovers and spouses will help you share the fun of Christmas all around. These are some of the funniest Christmas wishes to make your loved one smile with.
So, don’t hesitate to add some witty humor with your Christmas texts and send them to your friends and loved ones. Here are some hilarious and funny Christmas wishes and quotes that you might be looking for this Christmas.
Cute Christmas Wishes, Messages and Quotes
You know your life sucks when you have to wait the entire year for Santa to bring you some presents because apparently, no one care to give you a present.
This Christmas is all about feeling special. I hope you spend this Christmas drinking to the point that you completely forget you’re a loser!
Merry Christmas to you. I can see you have a great decoration there. But I think your credit card bill will not be as attractive as your decorations!
One important rule of Christmas; You can eat all the sweet candies as long as you don’t forget to brush your teeth. Merry Christmas!
May you survive the boring speech of priest in the church and join me at the party as soon as possible. Merry Christmas!
Christmas is season of magic and mystery. All your savings for the year will have vanished and you won’t even know it. How awesome!
The reason why everyone makes wishes in every Christmas is that no one’s wish ever comes true! Making Christmas wishes is just a custom! Merry Christmas!
You are too young to go to a club and have a drink and too old to expect gifts from Santa. In fact, you just don’t fit into the joys of Christmas!
I don’t know if you realize it or not, but you are getting fatter than Santa Clause. Even Santa would bully you this for being so fat! Merry Christmas!
Funny Christmas Wishes
Santa was looking at a painting for a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, Santa asked what are you doing and she answered: Waiting for autumn.
I mistakenly wrapped your Christmas present in a paper that says “Happy Birthday”. So I added the wording “to Jesus” on it. Merry Christmas!
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.
Christmas is mostly for children. But we adults can enjoy it too until the credit card bills arrive!
A peach is a peach, a plum is a plum, a kiss is not a kiss unless it’s with tongues. So open your mouth and close your eyes and give your tongue some exercise! Merry Christmas!
A Christmas Reminder: Don’t try to borrow any money from elves; They’re always a little short! Have a Merry Christmas!
Dear Santa, If you promise to be nice and give me everything on my list, I promise to give you the antidote to those poison cookies you just ate. Thank you.
I would say all I want for Christmas is YOU, But I really would love a new credit card as well!
Christmas is the festival of love and spirit So let us drink the spirit to feel love, Merry Christmas too!
Hey you two over there, It’s the old, bearded guy and his silly reindeer! We’re here to bring you holiday cheer and wishes for a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Santa left batteries under the tree with a note that said “Due to cutbacks, toys not included.
Every time I see you, I think of Santa. You have so many things in common with that big, fat, silly guy except that long-white beard. Merry Christmas dear!
Merry Christmas dear! The only thing that I hate about Christmas is a bearded, fat moron invading our home at midnight and calling you A ‘Ho’.
Christmas may well be a season to celebrate for you, but for me, it means trying my ass off to save every single penny I earned this year and make it through to the next year.
Our plans for Christmas: Let’s have all the fun of our life and then we’ll both be praying until our credit bills arrive to rip us off. Happy Xmas!
The true magic of Christmas is when you make my savings disappear without me realizing what happened. You’re truly a blessing in disguise of a wife!
Let’s drink till we start admitting our sins to each other and then sober up realizing we don’t remember anything from last night. What a great Christmas that would be!
I wished to be surrounded by good people, not the ones that spoil my mood. But Santa told me that offer was not for married people.
You are a huge blessing in my life (just over 200 pounds!!). I’m glad that you didn’t fall upon me directly from the sky. Merry Christmas!
“Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.” – Gary Allan
“Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of this day – the birth of Santa? – Matt Groening
“You better watch out, You better not cry, Better not pout, I’m telling you why Santa Claus is coming to town.” – Haven Gillespie
Funny Quotes About Christmas
“Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.” – Phyllis Diller
“Sending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they’re worth the price of a stamp.” – Melanie White
“Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.” – Dennis Miller
“Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.” – Bridger Winegar
“Even before Christmas has said Hello, it’s saying ‘Buy Buy’.” – Robert Paul
I wrote to Santa admitting that I have been naughty throughout this year and it’s all because of you. Now, I’m waiting for Santa’s reply. Merry Christmas!
Christmas has been postponed because I did not receive my late-night kiss. So, if you want to celebrate Christmas, you have to give me a hug as a penalty. Merry Christmas!
Your name has been missing from both the naughty and nice list of Santa. So, I told him to search your name on his handsome list. I’m sure he will find it there!